Week 4 | Back 2 School & Finding the Balance

Back to School... 

Back to School... 

To prove to my dad that I'm not a foooool... 

If you didn't just sing that in your head, then we are really going to have to re-evaluate our friendship ;)... 

Well, friends, week #4 was the last hectic week of (what I would call) summer.

I know it technically goes into September, but when school starts we have a major shift in schedule, priorities, and how much we are traveling & extra curriculars. 

That big of a shift means it is the end of season in my brain, so yeah... it's the end of summer. 

Let's talk about it. 

Back 2 School

It was an interesting back to school week for us, as this year was way more chaotic than it has been in years past... 

1) Kellen has been sick. 
2) I agreed to a Zach Bryan concert on Tuesday night without taking into consideration of when school started. (Oops)
3) I left on Thursday to celebrate a bachelorette party (I'll chat about this more in a bit)

If you're wondering why I am filling you in on these details, it's because on one simple reason... 

I was OVERWHLEMED last week and because of that, I let my BAS habit slip. 

I am not sure if I even had one. 

And the reason why I am sharing this with you is because, while it didn't really affect my goal for fat loss (I still made great progress this week, given the craziness), I didn't FEEL as good... And that does MATTER.

It matters a great deal. 

Because I want to stay consistent with this, and when we feel good we tend to keep doing the things that make us feel good... 

And the BAS helps us in so many other ways than just fat loss. 

So the goal is to refocus on that and to keep on keeping on. 

Finding the Balance

I have been eating without tracking for over 12 weeks now, and I have been trying to be in a calorie deficit without tracking for 4 weeks, and the biggest struggle have I have so far in my "research" is this... 

How do I teach others when to "buckle down" and when to enjoy life??? 

And then, how do I teach you all when you are in the middle of enjoying life, that you have reached a point that it is time to buckle down? 

How do I teach how to process the whole situation, without it taking over the entire experience? 

I know you are probably thinking, "Well, yeah. That is why I am here, Ash. I need you to tell me." 

But here's the thing... 

I was nervous about doing this whole thing because in the past when I was enjoying life, I was plugging everything into an app that told me it was OKAY to enjoy it. 

Like, yes I would have pizza because the app told me I could and still get results. 

There was comfort in eating the pizza, because I was still in control. 

And that is easy to teach. 

But over the past few weeks, I have found a confidence in myself to know when to indulge and when it's enough. 

For example, this past weekend I was eating some loaded potato chips... 

Ya know, fried chips with sour cream, cheese, chives, the whole shebang...

They were so damn good, friend. 

So there I was, munching on them, and I had this moment of "That's enough." 

And I stopped eating them. 

Since that happened, I have asked myself so many times "How did I know?" 

"How do I break this down?"

And here's what I came up with:  

1) I was sharing with a friend, so I knew that no matter what, I probably wouldn't eat an excessive amount of calories, and that gave me the peace to leisurely eat them.
2) I paid attention to my hunger cues - When we ordered them, I was truly hungry. So as I was eating them, I tried to pay attention to when that feeling went away. After it did, I took maybe 3 more bites to make sure, and then I stopped.
3) I understand nutrition on a pretty deep level, and because of that, I know that the carb+fat combo is what makes foods DELICIOUS. In fact, some of your favorite snack brands actually use a specific carb/fat percentage to create foods that are hard to stop eating, and therefore, makes you buy more. I kept this in the front of my mind when eating, knowing that this would be one of those dishes. 
4) I told myself I would have something high protein when I got back to the room, so I didn't need to go crazy. 
5) I allowed myself to enjoy the dish without counting every single calorie. Something I definitely would have done in the past, but now I decide to trust myself instead. 

Now, listing all this out feels like a lot, but probably only took about 30 seconds before ordering (#1, #3 and #4) and 30 seconds while eating (#2 and #5) and other than that, I was just doing life. Eating with my friends and enjoying the day by the pool. 

THIS is where I think people struggle the most. 

So many of us decide we want to just live our lives, so we turn it all off. 

We don't process.

We don't think about what we eat. 

Or how much. 

Or how we can make these foods work without letting emotion take over and going balls to the wall. 

So we eat without thinking, feeling, or even really enjoying it. 

And then the guilt sets in... 

"Why did I do that?"

"Why didn't I just stop?"

"Why don't I have any self control?"

When in reality, we didn't even give ourselves a chance to try. 

We checked out, and let other parts of our brain take over. 

So since then, I have been processing on how I teach this??

And I wish I had the answer, but in all honesty I don't at this point. 

But what I do have is a goal to figure it out. 

I have this desire to take what I know and turn it into something tangible. 

And it's not going to be easy. 

I have said that from the very beginning. 

BUT if I can do this. 

If I can figure out how to turn this into steps, and processes, and a program that can break it down for those that want to learn... 

THAT would be the most legit FOOD FREEDOM I have ever seen. 

Here's the stats:

Started the Week: 132.5
Ended the Week: 131.2

I am going to make a prediction and say that this upcoming week I am going to hit a new low weight. 

Check back next week to see if I am right! :)

Other Notes:

-Enjoyed sushi for the kids' back to school meal. Delicious but made me bloat a bit. 
-Quite a bit of alcohol this week with the concert and bachelorette party, but I knew that and was fine with it. I am interested to see what happens in the upcoming weeks and a decrease in alcohol consumption.

That wraps up Week 4! In Week 5 things calm down a bit, but we will head to the lake for Labor day! Check back to see how it goes :)